I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
