toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
