just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
