So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
