Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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