he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
