im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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