i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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