Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
