so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
