I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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