battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize