I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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