Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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