were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
