i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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