I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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