You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
