I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
