eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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