I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
