Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
