Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
