Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
