he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
