There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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