but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
