Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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