hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
