you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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