i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
