Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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