is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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