i need an iv and a liver transplant
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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