Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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