Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize