I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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