My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize