This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
