textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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