if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize
