ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell her she can't have a vagina
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
