please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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