come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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