im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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