guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
