You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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