one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize