So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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