he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
