Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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