I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
