Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
