Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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