hotel room ftw
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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