He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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