No awkward lesbian experiences without me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
